Hardships
by Oilux
Summary: Vaan and Terra are married, but Terra cannot deny her feeling for Bartz, Vaan's old best friend.
1. Chapter 1

Commission for ViChaN91312 on Deviantart

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Things had been hard lately for Terra and Vaan. They had been married a couple of years, and lately the pair had seemed to be drifting apart. Terra though, didn't want to think about that though, and whenever something happened that would reinforce the idea of their marriage being in jeopardy, Terra would force the thoughts to the back of her head. They were thoughts that lingered though, and refused to leave. Whatever Terra did, the hesitation and worry was still there haunting her. She had no idea if Vaan felt the same way as she did; it seemed to her like he was perfectly fine. Nothing seemed to bug him anymore about their marriage.

It was another late night when Terra was alone once again, trying to ignore her looming thoughts and the gaping cold of the marriage bed. Her bed never seemed to be warm anymore, even in the part where she laid in it. Deciding that it would be better just to wait for her husband to get home from work, Vaan went downstairs and sat in front of her television, watching some late night talk show. Terra wasn't even paying attention anymore, and before too long she had fallen asleep, listening to the laughter and jokes of comedy that didn't seem to make her feel even slightly better.

When Vaan finally arrived home, he tried to be as quiet as possible. He knew Terra normally fell asleep long before he got home late, and he didn't want to wake her up. Setting his keys down in a random place and throwing his jacket to the side, Vaan was slightly surprised by the figure that almost appeared to be waiting for him in the living room. Terra was curled up in a small ball, head in her arms, and the television still showing some random show. Vaan didn't take his eyes off of his wife as he went and grabbed the remote from her side and turned the television off. When Terra didn't stir at all, Vaan gathered her into his arms, carrying her into their bedroom. She didn't move at all, and Vaan was beginning to notice bags forming under her eyes. Then stripping himself of his work clothes he crawled into his pajamas and laid next to Terra, wrapping her into his arms.

"I'm sorry, I know it's been hard, but it's going to get better," Vaan whispered before drifting into sleep himself.

Vaguely he thought that he felt her smile against him.

Terra woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking in her kitchen. She could feel the lingering warmth of someone else lying next to her, and she knew it could only be Vaan downstairs. Maybe he was taking a day off or something, for he was always gone before Terra even woke up. Now though as the smell of bacon and eggs wafted up from downstairs she found herself almost running down the stairs.

"Vaan?" Terra called out before she reached the kitchen door. She heard something clang as it hit the floor, and muttered cursed as the door swung open.

Vaan was standing in the middle of the kitchen floor, covered in flour and pancake batter. The bowl still halfway filled was at his feet, and Vaan's bare feet were covered in batter as well. Terra had to cover her mouth to stop from laughing at the sight. Vaan looked so confused, as if he didn't understand how he had gotten so dirty so fast.

"Um, I was trying to make you breakfast in bed…" he said, raising his hand to rake through his hair, making more flour fall out and onto his pajamas.

Terra couldn't holds it any more, as she began laughing at the sight of Vaan. He pouted, but after seeing her face and taking a look at his clothes, he began laughing as well. Soon they were both on the floor, tears forming in their eyes and rolling down their smile strained faces. After a couple of minutes they were left on the ground, still smiling and out of breath. Terra crawled forward and grabbed the bowl of pancake mix, saving what was left of it. She began to make what was left of breakfast, even though it seems as though Vaan had done most of it himself.

"Go and clean yourself up mister," Terra said, pointing the spatula in her hand at Vaan. Vaan smiled sheepishly before heading out to take a quick shower. When he got back Terra was done with the pancakes, and had the table set and ready to eat. All she was waiting for was her husband.

"Thanks for breakfast," Terra said before he could apologize for making a mess. She and him would clean it up later.

"Well I know I've been working a lot lately, and I wanted to make it up to you. Tonight, we'll do whatever you want. Consider it your day."

Terra smiled, already thinking of what they would do together.

Vaan and Terra first went shopping at the mall where Terra bought new clothes and things she needed. Vaan said she could get anything that she wanted, but she didn't want that much. After that they went to the theater and saw a movie, some cheesy romance movie that made Vaan want to face palm, but he saw it with her anyways. When that was all done the two went to a bar together, to drink and spend a couple more hours together. It was a lot of fun for the both of them, drinking and acting like they were when they were younger. Yet in the back of her mind, Terra knew that tomorrow would come just like any other day, and that another day like this might not come for a long time. Terra pushed those thoughts aside though, only wanting to think about here and now.

"Vaan! Is that really you buddy?" A voice cut through Terra's thoughts, and both she and Vaan turned around to see a man walking towards them.

He had light brown hair, and wore a light sky blue shirt that complimented his skin. He was very attractive, Terra noticed immediately. As soon as Vaan saw him he broke out in a wide grin, standing up to embrace the man in a hug. Terra watched with a smile, waiting to know what was going on in front of her.

"It's been a couple years hasn't it Bartz?" The two began to talk together, completely forgetting that Terra was there. A bit annoyed, Terra cleared her throat, making both men turn to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry honey. This is Bartz, my best friend from high school. I haven't seen him in years. Bartz this is my wife, Terra."

"You actually got married! With the way you went on about all that you wanted to accomplish I never thought that you would settle down," Bartz laughed, making Vaan blush, "It's a pleasure to meet you Miss," Bartz said to her.

"It's nice to meet you too," Terra said, extending her hand to him. His hand was a lot larger than hers, enveloping it with strength and warmth. Terra blushed at the contact, even though it was brief.

"Now what are you guys waiting for? Let's have some fun!" Bartz said enthusiastically to them, before ordering another round.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Terra awoke with a pounding headache and a cold bed. She moved her arm, looking for her husband, who was sure to have a hangover just like her, but she just encountered nothing. Terra knew that he was most likely at work already, making more than enough money than they needed. Terra buried herself further under the blankets, trying to block out the real world and the harsh bright light from the real world.

Vaan made a lot of money, and he allowed her to get almost everything she wanted. She didn't even have to work because he made so much money. He had enough money saved up that she could buy almost anything that she wanted. Yet Terra wanted nothing more than her husband to be by her side. It was like living with a roommate, or having a friend, he wasn't a lover or a husband anymore. When they had first dated and gotten engaged, Vaan had always gone on about how one day he would be a big shot, and make a ton of money to take her all around the world. He had achieved that, he even had enough money to retire comfortably for the rest of his life, but Terra felt the costs of what he had accomplished that he hadn't. It had come at the cost of their marriage.

Terra felt unloved. It left a gaping hole in her heart that she filled with hope that one day he would realize that she didn't want this big house, or all the nice things he got her. Terra wanted to feel like she mattered again, and that she wasn't just someone that was kept home for when he needed it or chose to take a day off. She felt tears form in her eyes at the thoughts that plagued her mind, but this time she couldn't just put them in the back of her mind like she always had before. They pushed to the surface, demanding to be heard and had to be seen. Ignoring her hangover Terra threw back the blankets and sat bolt upright in bed, the bright light and sudden movement making her head spin. Terra forgot for a second, before the thoughts came back stronger than ever, almost yelling in her head.

Terra stumbled to her shower, turning the water as hot as she could stand it. The steam and hot water barreling into her senses woke her up just a little bit more, and made her headache go away some. Still though her senses felt clogged, and she was beginning to regret drinking as much as she did. Still when the water began to run cold no matter how far she turned the nozzle, Terra climbed out of her shower, soaking wet and her headache lessened. Her stomach growled, so she went downstairs, trying to make each step as light as it could be, for even her walking hurt her delicate head.

When she entered the kitchen, the mess from last morning was still waiting to be cleaned up. Her wet feet gathered flower with every step she took, leaving footprints and a path wherever she walked. Terra stared at the mess but made no movement to pick it up, figuring that she was too tired to do so now and that it would still be there later. All she did was pick up a clean bowl and poured some dry cereal in it before she started munching on it, the dry taste was the only thing that settled in her stomach at this moment. She sat at the table, staring blankly at the picture filled wall in front of her. It was all pictures of her and Vaan, from their teen years to their honey moon.

Terra eventually stopped eating, the spoon sitting lifelessly on the table in front of her. Memories swarmed through her head at the pictures her eyes passed. There they were on their first date, a picture taken by her stalkerish best friend. There were a lot of pictures from their wedding day, one of the happiest days of her life. Then the rest of the pictures were of dates or just ones that she or he had felt like taking. There was a picture of their hands entwined, them on a picnic together, ands them eating pasta together just like in Lady and the Tramp. Some of her most precious memories were tacked to that board, nothing more than that, just memories.

Terra was out of her seat before her mind even registered what she was really doing. She crossed the two feet of the kitchen floor and over to the wall of pictures. Slowly, her shaking hand reached up and felt the plastic cover of one of the photos, one of her favorites, the one of their hands entwined. She pulled it from the board rather easily, nothing holding it in place besides a tiny pin. Holding it in her hands, she hardly recognized the hand that was in the photo, the hand that was full of love and adoration for the other one. Compared to her hand in the photo, Terra's hand now looked cold and unloved.

Her cold hands ripped apart the photo, right down the middle, and then she ripped it again, and again, until nothing remained except bits and pieces. Now panting and heart racing, she grabbed another photo from the wall, tearing that one as well until nothing was left but the shreds at her feet. Another photo after that, then another one, tearing every single one that had the her that used to be happy or the ones that were of her and Vaan. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but Terra didn't notice them. All she could think of was finding the next photograph to destroy until there was none left.

When there were none left Terra fell to her knees on the floor, sobbing. Her head pounded, and the sobs made it so that she almost couldn't breathe, but she just couldn't stop. Her mind felt heavy, and thoughts weren't coherent. All she wanted to do was to cry until she couldn't anymore, and then cry some more. She cried as time passed her by without a second thought, and she cried as the world went on around her, completely oblivious to her pain.

"Memories…that's all they are now…just memories…" Terra whispered to herself as she continued to cry on her kitchen floor, shreds of pictures around her and nothing and no one to comfort her in her most desperate moment of need.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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Terra awoke a couple hours later, her eyes aching from how much she had cried. Pictures stuck to what seemed like every part of her body, making her already sore body feel sticky and tight. She rubbed her eyes, trying to make them a little more tolerable to seeing everything once again. When Terra could see again, she saw that the sun had almost set, indigo staining the sky almost entirely. Leaving the bits of torn memories she went upstairs to take a shower, hoping that it would relieve her sore body and tight skin.

The shower actually relaxed her greatly, and when she was done, Terra went and cleaned up the mess she had made of the pictures. Everything went into the trash, but not without one last longing look. Even if she had wanted to save them, they couldn't. The thing that hut her home the most was there were no other copies of the pictures she destroyed. All those memories seemed to sit in her trash can, unable to be saved.

"Terra! I got off work early," Vaan called while hastily opening the door, then striding into the room. Terra sipped the tea that she had made idly, smiling at the sound of his voice. Her dark mood lightened even at the sound of his voice, and a bit of hope went into her heart. If only his voice did that, maybe she could feel a lot better about everything in general.

Suddenly Terra remembered the mess she had made just hours before. While she had been able to clean up, there was a wall full of pictures missing. She didn't know how he would react, but she hoped that it wouldn't be too bad.

"Terra? What happened to all our pictures?" Vaan must have entered the kitchen when she was in thought. He looked so confused, but at the same time he waiting for an explanation for what had happened.

Terra couldn't think of anything to say. Instead her eyes were drawn to the trash can where the torn remains of the photos still lied. Vaan followed her gaze after a second. Where he found what she was looking at, he went over and looked into the trash, just to see the torn bits. He reached in with a shaking hand, pulling out random bits, letting them fall through his fingers and fall back into the trash. Terra couldn't even look at him anymore; she could imagine all too well what his face looked like.

"What is the meaning of this?" Vaan asked, staring at his now empty hands, as if he could see the memories in his hands.

Her throat was closed up. Terra couldn't have answered him if she wanted to.

"Terra! Are you going to answer me?" Vaan shouted at her. She flinched at his tone, but still didn't say anything, her eyes were trained on the floor.

"Terra!" He shouted again. Suddenly, Terra felt a bit of courage.

"You want to know why I did that? I did it because I wanted to," Terra shouted as she stood up, trying to regain some ground on him.

"Why?" Vaan said through gritted teeth.

"Because you're never home! You go to work every day and night, and think a night out once a month will be enough for me. Well it isn't. It never has been," Terra could feel herself being close to tears.

"Terra…" Vaan said before he tried to move forward, reaching out to touch her arm. She jerked away from him though.

"Don't touch me Vaan. We've been married long enough, you've had plenty of time to find this out, but you never did." Terra laced as much venom into her voice as she could.

"I…I didn't know you felt this way Terra." There was so much regret and pain in his voice.

"Of course you wouldn't Vaan. Work was always number one to you."

"You know that's not true."

"Is it? When was the last time that we had fun together? Besides those once a month outings of course," Vaan was silent, "that's what I thought. Work, work, work, what about me Vaan? Did you ever consider that I don't care what we have, as long as I have you?"

Vaan was silent. It was his turn to stare at the floor. He noticed that flour was still on the floor, and it was sticking to her feet and his shoes. He couldn't think of anything to say to defend himself. So he picked up his briefcase and the trashcan full of the torn pictures and walked out the door. Terra watched him move, but didn't say anything to stop him.

"Fine, leave then," she said when he got to the door, "it's what you're good at."

He hesitated at the words, but continued out the door, leaving his wife in their empty house.


	4. Chapter 4

I'M SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER LATE UPDATE! Forgive me. T-T

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Chapter 4

She couldn't stand the silence anymore. It was driving her crazy. After Vaan left she just sat there, thinking about how they had never argues that much, and what she had done wrong. Once the silence began to eat at her heart (as if it wasn't wounded at all), she turned on the thousand dollar stereo that Vaan had bought one weekend. It had been his first bit of splurging that he had done with the money that he made from his job.

The music of the station that was already programmed in immediately relaxed her. It was instrumental, and reminded her of a lullaby.

_You could be happy and I won't know_

A male voice sang, and Terra lost her moment of peace that had come with the instruments alone. Yet even with the lost peace, she felt the words speak to her. Vaan would have never known that she was unhappy if it hadn't been for the fact that she destroyed the pictures and said something.

Terra walked back into the kitchen, there was a mess that she had to clean up, but first she turned up the radio so that she could her it anywhere she went into the house.

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go_

Neither were happy when Vaan stormed out. Terra did't blame him, and she wondered where he went. Where he was right now and what he was doing. She scoffed, he was probably at work, again, logging in more hours and earning more of his precious money.

_And all the things that I wished I had not said_  
_Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head_

Her head was in turmoil. Should she have stopped him? Would it have made a difference? Why was she thinking about it now anyways, it was in the past, and what is done is done. There's no changing her actions, but Terra couldn't help but feel like she could have done better. Pound, pound, pound seemed to be wearing away in her head. Wait, that wasn't in her head, it was in real life. There was someone knocking at her front door. For a moment she thought of ignoring it, but then it would be something important or an emergency. Ever so slowly, Terra picked herself off the floor and opened the door. The song still played in the background.

Bartz stood on her porch, and any hope that Vaan had returned to her to apologize was dashed. Bartz looked her over, wondering why she looked sad and haggard.

"Hey Terra is Vaan here? We were supposed to go out drinking. At least that's what he told me was going to happen.

Terra felt a flash of anger push its way through her sadness. Vaan could make time for him but he couldn't make time for her, his on wife? More tears gathered and fell at the thought, but she just brushed them aside. Her cheeks felt so bruised and sore, but the pain seemed so small and insignificant.

"No, I don't know where he is, and frankly right now I could care less," she muttered out, attempting to shut the door. Bartz stopped the door from closing with his foot easily.

"Is everything okay? You don't look to well," he said through the the crack. Terra hesitated, and that was all the answer that he needed. Slowly, as if he was afraid that he would startle her, he opened the door and stepped inside. Terra didn't have the will power to fight him off, so she just let him in. Bartz took her hand and led her to the living room where she sat on the couch with a thump. Her song had ended, and now it was playing some random garbage that the radio so much enjoys now a days.

"What happened?"

Terra cried as she told him every little detail from her life over the past few weeks. It was one thing to live through it, or even think about what had happened, but another to tell someone else about everything. Bartz never interrupted her, instead he listened as she choked out every detail and story. He would rub her back when her sobs would make it to where she couldn't talk, and held her hand when she would ring them together. When she had finally finished her story, her tears didn't want to stop. Bartz was kind though, and held her until they finally did dry, and helped her come down.

Terra looked up at him with red, almost swollen eyes. Every part of her body and face ached from the crying. She must have cried more than she had ever cried before in her life. Bartz stared back at her, bringing up his hand to push back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face. His hand brushed across her face, feeling so nice against the heat that seemed to radiate off her face now. She leaned her face into his touch, trying to capture as much of the coolness as she could.

Bartz looked down at her with confused eyes. Terra didn't notice though, but before she could think even more he was leaning down. Terra arched her back to meet him midway. Their lips met in a passion of raw emotion and neediness. Lips parted and tongues clashed in a battle of dominance and power. Bartz won that battle, but Terra easily submitted to the kiss. They only parted because of the need to breathe. Their eyes met yet again, but before they could kiss once more realization dawned on Terra's face about what she had just done.

Terra's mouth dropped open, her hand covering it automatically. She couldn't cry anymore even if she had wanted to. Instead she ran faster than she ever had before right to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it. Bartz banged on the door, but it didn't budge. He couldn't even hear her there, making him worry even more.

"I'm sorry Terra! Please let me in. I know you don't want to be alone right now," he said knocking gently. After what seemed like an eternity, the door finally opened for him. He went inside and closed the door behind him, following her to the bed laying down there with her. She didn't protest, at any point, not even when he laid next to her and wrapped his arms around around her and held her close.

Within moments Terra was fast asleep in his arms, looking more peaceful than she had probably felt all day. Bartz stroked her hair with his hands, watching her sleep. Thoughts ran through his mind as he laid there with her. This was his best friends wife. Was she really going to be worth all the trouble and woes that being together could cause him.

Looking at her sleeping face Bartz decided that yes indeed, she was worth it.

One more chapter!


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